Why am I a sissy? 10 important questions related to sissy hypno…

by Felix Conrad - Clinical Philosopher on October 8, 2012

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Why am I a sissy? and other questions

1. What’s with the whole French Maid thing?

Much of human sexuality is symbolic. This means that humans attach sexual significance to seemingly non sexual objects – fabrics, muscles, frills, whips, power – and become turned on by them.

As a servant’s uniform, the french maid outfit represents complete submission – which turns the sissy on. However, what really turns a sissy on is to dress /behave /look like a girl, and because the uniform is a stereotypical feminine garment it’s a triple dose of femininity. Also, a French maid – like other occupational fantasies such as secretary, school-girl and air-hostess – is a female job, thus cranking up the femininity value even more.

If you look at other female garments such as girl’s jeans there is very low erotic reward because they are not uniquely feminine. The more feminine a garment is…the more attractive it becomes.

2. Why do men appear in my fantasies? Am I bi?

Possibly…but probably not.

A common aspect of cross-gender fantasy is the appearance of strong, powerful men (often they are faceless). This is curious because in their day to day lives, most femephiliacs don’t find men attractive at all.

Some people believe that this is a suppressed attraction to men. In my opinion, however, the man plays a symbolic role just as a french maid’s uniform does. The appearance of an ultra masculine figure is a device to make the crossdreamer feel feminine (their erotic well-spring.) In the mind of the sissy, your average girl has sex with men…therefore, a man having sex with you makes you feel like a girl. The fact you wouldn’t look twice at a man outside of your fantasies suggests this to be true (in my opinion).

3. What is a sissy, anyway?

Unlike a crossdreamer or sado-masochist, there’s no clear definition of ‘sissy’. That’s because it’s become a name for someone who moves in a specific online ecosystem, rather than a person who belongs to a distinct sexological category. This is demonstrated by the four different groups within sissy subculture.

1) A small minority who are genuinely bi-sexual and like the forced-bi element.

2) A small minority who have a specific fetish for their masculinity being trodden and spat on (metaphorically).

3) A larger minority of transgender females.

4) A majority of men with an inverted sexuality that is characterized by (choose your preferred term) crossdreaming / autogynephilia / sissification / female embodiment fantasies where a man gets turned on by the thought of himself as female.

Therefore, a sissy is a person who participates in sissy subculture by visiting relevant sissy fantasy sites on Tumblr, Reddit and other erotic channels. They may or may not live out some of these fantasies in real life.

4. What type of sexual behavior underlies sissy sexual fantasy?

(For the rest of this article I will focus on the majority of men who use sissy porn: those who get turned on by the thought of being female and/or feminized.)

Some sissies don’t realize that they have a unique form of human sexuality that is the subject of much controversy among sexologists. What most agree on is that it’s based on a man’s erotic desire to be a woman in sexual contexts. Thus, a hetero male imagines he is a man in his fantasies…whereas you imagine you’re a girl or a feminized man.

The unique characteristic of crossdreaming is that the sexual fantasy is heavily centered on the self rather than another person. Whereas most men desire to have a sexy slut…crossdreamers desire to be a sexy slut. However, there are so many fluid aspects to crossdreaming that the man usually has a heterosexual attraction to women. Just to complicate things, many sissies also fantasize about men.

Last year I got so mad with all the different names and ideas, I decided to write a short book to definitively categorize and understand the sexuality beneath the sissy phenomenon.

5. Hold on…aren’t I just ‘heterosexual with a little kink on the side’?

The above phrase comes from a poll on ellemesen.com where most sissies say that they are just hetero guys with a little kink.

If you really want to understand your sexuality and not be a transgender fundamentalist or dogmatic fetishist, you need to remember one thing: it’s fluid. In other words, I’m sure you are majority hetero with a minor kink NOW…and probably will be all your life, but a minority of sissies experience a fundamental shift in which the kink becomes something different and a transgender identity develops.

Therefore, while it’s perfectly reasonable to say you’re hetero with a little (or big) kink on the side, you should be aware that it’s a little bit more complicated than that.

6. Oh my God…now you’ve freaked me out. Am I going to end up transgender?

Some guys start worrying they’re going to be transgender once they read the above. Don’t worry…if the thought of being transgender seems like a nightmare then it’s unlikely you will ever have a gender crisis. Getting turned on by being a woman when you’re horny is a different kettle of fish from wanting to be a woman all the time.

Even if you did have serious gender issues one day, there are lots of gender variant men who still live happy lives as men.

7. Why is there such a strong element of submission and humiliation to sissy fantasies?

No one knows for certain. Here are some theories.

1) As with French maids, there is a stereotypical, Victorian strain running through the sissy’s concept of femininity (this may be a cultural or sub conscious memory). Thus, because women were submissive to men for most of history, the sissy thinks they are being more feminine by being submissive and thus adds more erotic power to their fantasy.

2) Masochistic Emasculation Fetish: the real motive behind feminization is the fear of not being sufficiently manly. The user then develops some kind of paradoxical turn-on for what is his biggest fear (it’s a self-defence mechanism.)

3) (My preferred theory) A love of humiliation and domination is present in most people and is a consequence of our simian ancestors. Primate societies are hierarchical and primates are all attracted to the alpha male and/or alpha female. Being humiliated is a sign that one is in the presence of an alpha and the more abject the humiliation the more alpha is the male/female.

8. What’s going on with Sissy Hypno?

Sissy hypno is the crack cocaine of crossgender porn. As experts just begin to understand the amount of dopamine stimulation that internet porn can produce, sissy hypno can be seen as a high dose, mega hit of crossdreamer pornography.

Porn, by its very nature is exaggerated – thus we have women with unfeasibly large breasts and men with unfeasibly large cocks – but the new generation of internet porn goes further. Thus, a commonly experienced fantasy such as climaxing into a woman’s mouth – is transformed into bukkake – thirty men climaxing into a woman’s mouth; one man fucking your wife becomes a whole football team doing your wife. Sissy Hypno follows that logic and bombards the user with dozens of visual and audio sensations in a short time. It is, therefore, a super-stimulant genre of porn.

sissy porn

9. Is Sissy Hypno somehow bad for my health?

Perhaps your moral health…if you start seeing women as bimbo sex machines, but I think most of you are grounded enough to understand that sissy hypno is about cartoon women.

With respect to compulsion, there is nothing specific to sissy hypno that makes it more addictive than other forms of porn. If you’re going to end up being a porn addict you will end up a porn addict anyway. (By the way, porn addiction is very real and while not damaging to the health it does mess with your ability to sort your life out and get on with practical stuff.)

One final point, however, is that some people believe that sissies are more prone to porn addiction because they need to live out their feminine desires. Because their daily life gives them little opportunity to express their fem side, they end up spending an inordinate amount of time in a fantasy world.

10. Will my fruity fantasies interfere with my ability to be a good boyfriend/husband?

Sissies tend to get bored more quickly of conventional sex. When that happens they sometimes lose interest and start investing their sex drive in porn. This is not fair!

When the thrill starts to go, you need to either fess up to your woman and start a new chapter in the sexual relationship (incorporate some bondage etc.)…or you have to man up and make sure you provide the goods. As long as you do that, there’s no problem in being a dirty sissy slut.

Conclusion

I’ve been writing and reading about crossgender sexuality for a couple of years now, and I really am amazed by its quantum nature: it combines elements of heterosexuality, bisexuality, transgender, domination and submission all at the same time. In my opinion that makes it a remarkably sophisticated and unique form of human sexuality.

Be proud!

If you’re interested in this topic…buy our amazing anthology on gender variant sexuality.

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Ariana December 21, 2015 at 5:33 pm

waiting

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Jack October 23, 2016 at 4:03 am

So much build up and so little substance.

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CassandraToday November 20, 2016 at 1:29 am

Still waiting…

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Pluggedlilbttm December 7, 2016 at 11:43 pm

“Furthermore, you don’t take as many drugs as I do without getting paranoid… and I’m just waiting for the moment when all this wonderful goodwill to the trans community dries up.” —That moment has come and gone.

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sissy March 8, 2017 at 5:30 pm

mail me

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sissy carrie March 14, 2017 at 1:45 am

i don’t entirely agree with #4. i think it’s a misconception that sissy sexuality doesn’t heavily focus on another person. For me, at least, another person is a major part of it, and one that is absolutely necessary for sexual gratification. There’s never been a time when i’ve gotten sexual pleasure from crossdressing/fantasizing about crossdressing without it either involving another person or me fantasizing about another person. And not just any, faceless person. It’s always a specific Woman(in my case, since i’m attracted to Women) who i’m attracted to. Even if i’m just dressing up by myself when i’m alone, i always imagine that a specific Woman(or Women, and sometimes men too but always at least one Woman) is there who i’m dressing up for. Without that aspect of it, i don’t think i’d get any pleasure from it at all.

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Sissy Susan July 29, 2017 at 1:02 pm

I feel the exact same way Carrie. Although I’ve actually had sex with another man while dressed as Susan.

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nnn May 19, 2017 at 2:44 pm

“or you have to man up and make sure you provide the goods. As long as you do that, there’s no problem in being a dirty sissy slut.”

and then the whole point of this was an opportunity for further reinforcement.

Thanks but no thanks. Sure it’s hot to read that and then go on and decide that you will out yourself to your wife that you are a sissy slut and you want to be used. She will likely freak the fuck out and view you as less of a man even though she will never admit it.

If you are lucky she will indulge you but your relationship will be shocked and changed forever.

Think it through

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Trinity June 7, 2017 at 12:50 pm

Sissy captioned porn is Amazing!! I recommend it!

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Sam July 5, 2017 at 6:38 pm

This is amazing, you peered into my soul. I’m actually really shocked there aren’t more comments like the one I’m making. You captured me pretty much exactly.

I came here because I’m worried about sissy hypno. I’m sure I didn’t use to fantasise about some of the things I do now before it, or at least not to the same degree. I never used to think about actually buying and wearing women’s lingerie or actually trying to meet a guy to give him head. I am 24 and it seems a little late for my sexuality to be shifting, so I kind of thought it might actually be the hypnosis I’ve been watching having a genuine effect. Am I merely exploring my sexuality in a healthy way? Or am I doing dangerous things to my wiring? I’ve heard they used to try and use hypnosis to “cure” homosexuality, and often it left homosexual men deeply depressed in the long run. I don’t know what to think, I want to enjoy my fantasies/sexual desires, but I don’t want to mess up my brain.

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Transcend Everything July 5, 2017 at 9:11 pm

Dearest Sam, this is a very difficult comment for me to respond to because all the people I interact with in the ‘crossdreamer community’ have fantasised about this stuff from a very early age. What tends to happen developmentally, is stuff to do with their gender identity…not how they fantasise. Therefore, please give me a couple of days to think about this. xx

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Ty July 11, 2017 at 8:28 am

This article was linked from the most obvious subreddit, and I like your thoughts on these things. I want to comment, and contribute my reality here.

Hypno porn was a gateway thing for me. Not sissy hypno really. It was Isabella Valentine’s Jackpot. It’s a hypno that, in theory, takes you under, puts you in trance, and gives you a hands-free orgasm. It has no trans/sissy content. Or, if it does, it’s buried deep enough nobody has caught it. It’s just a nearly preposterous femdom scenario I’m not sure can even be made to “work”. Yet the submission aspects tuned me into a side of my sexuality I was utterly unable to pursue or even be aware of previously. I was just high-school kid who was busy chasing a Christian girl who hurt herself when she got horny. My partner choices weren’t going to lead to any sexual discoveries. I was aware of shemale pornography and I would wank to it now and then, and frequently shutter out the questions it raised in me. Honestly I didn’t like it most of the time, and I still don’t. Something seemed exceptionally exploitative about it, even during a time when I was unaware of, and probably incapable of giving a damn about such a thing.

But avoiding the hard questions kind of ended after isabella valentine’s dumb hypnosis. She had other… hypnosis files. It wasn’t long before I was Alice in a very kinky wonderland. I don’t even particularly like her content, but it was a gateway to self discovery, “better” porn that brought to the fore, very difficult questions and a reality I was going to have to confront. Like Who I am, who I want to be, can I do these things and protect the people I love. Questions I still haven’t resolved frequently. As I approach the end of my twenties, I feel like the clock is ticking and there is anxiety here, because if a choice is to be made, i feel a sense of urgency to do it before the effects of transitioning diminish far beyond what i would ever be happy making the necessary sacrifices and changes in my life to achieve.

I don’t really know what I am gender-wise. I simply can’t explore my gender identity the way I would want to. People rely on me in a way that requires maintenance of masculinity I barely want. I live in the bible belt. I bring home bread for disabled family. I could not find a job here if I even took the time to experiment, or even explore part-time lifestyle changes, but I get by with sissy porn, fantasies of that sort, and a semi-active bisexual sex life. What would I be if I was a trust fund kid in L.A? I suspect I would be a woman, or a very damn feminine sissy, in no small part due to sissy hypnosis.

But for me, the fantasy isn’t real. I’m not being brainwashed. I’m just being bombarded, externally, by messages, visually and aurally, that I’ve been thinking or shuttering from my mind for most of my sexualized life. Sissy porn is frequently just a reminder that I can’t hide who I am. Bi, submissive, possibly trans, and honestly I’ve done so many ego-obliterating psychedelics in my search for peace and answers that I’m not sure I have the mental ability to take a dominant sexual role. It just feels wrong, and I didn’t pick that up from the porn.

Yet, with all of this seemingly pointing in a very obvious direction, I should be doing what I can to satisfy my sexual and identity needs while taking care of my family right? Why am I acting like I can’t do both? Well, I’m not waking up crying because I was born with a dick. I *can* bare my masculinity. I play the part just fine outside of the bedroom. When trans people talk about their mindset, the way they see things, I don’t feel that way. I’ve never had a crisis like what so many of them go through. As I mentioned, shemale porn only gave me the faintest hint of a potential gender identity issue, and it required something as overstimulating and frankly blunt as submission hypnosis and sissy hypnosis porn to make me ask every question, and demand the truth from myself about who I am: a kinky bi, maybe trans, who is using this kind of porn as a surrogate for a sex life I can’t reasonably expect to have in real life.

I can’t speak for every sissy or closet sissy, but I’m acutely aware of the exaggerated feminine stuff. I don’t think women are fleshy fuck puppets that belong in latex maid costumes and gimp suits. I very much doubt I’d be completely happy living that way. It’s kinky and fun jerk fodder, but the exaggeration is a useful thing in a situation where my desired sex life is more or less restricted to a porn fantasy i can only experience during masturbation, a relatively short activity. Does a biological woman see herself in her blue jeans and her bleachiest white t-shirt when she cranks one out? I mean probably sometimes, but I bet lady fantasies involve the same exaggeration of the feminine and masuline, and sometimes the same inversions of those elements. I’m treading out of my element here. I just wanted to share my insight for what it’s worth, and thank you for writing honestly about this stuff. I hate being basically demonized by certain people because of the odd path my journey has taken me, who would be calling me brother or sister in a slightly different context. Thanks again.

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Transcend Everything July 19, 2017 at 9:34 am

Thanks so much for your comment. I think we all have enormous sympathy with the idea of being forced to live one life, while wanting another. I look forward to the day when virtual reality allows us to have some kind of other fantasy life and it’s not all just about porn.

I’m glad that you can see the difference between cartoon women in sissy hypno and real women. It’s so important we value, respect and fight for women’s rights.

Again, thanks for sharing your thoughts.

xx

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Ficus July 20, 2017 at 8:53 pm

Wow.

This article explained a lot of my tougts

Sins the age of 5 ive been fantasizing about being tied up and forced to wear girls clothes. Thsn i kinds grew out of it but i was still a part of my mind. Then i discoverd hentai, then i found femdom, and then i found sissy porn. I didn’t came here becouse of hypnoses, just for reading and thinking about my fantasies. I recognized a lot of my inner thougts and i wanna thank you for writing this and getting me to think about my… stuff.

I feel part bi part trans part. stuff. But i found it reliefing that my fantasies indeed include faceless man. so maby im straight after all.

im kinda young. im 13, and 0nce i was into sissy porn i startet bying girls/womans clothes. But i have like no money so i dont have much. I once went to a sports store just to try on a one-piece swimsuit. Those things cost €50 and i do have the money but its kinda like 30% of my money so dont buy it. i sneakd into a passroom and tried one on. Then i also put on a couple of skirts. but then an employee saw me coming out of a passroom and i just run out of that store becouse i think she knew what i was doing

im getting of topic. Thank you for writing this, it was really helpfull

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Transcend Everything July 20, 2017 at 9:26 pm

Dearest Ficus, thanks so much for your thoughts and ideas. I’m not surprised you went off topic because at the end of the day we inhabit an unusual sexual universe that we can’t really talk about with our families and friends. As soon as we find a space where we can talk about that universe we start to go into all sorts of details. I would heartily recommend the forum of crossdreamers.com (on lefora) if you want to talk more about your sexuality and love life.

As far as being ‘straight’ goes, one thing you will probably discover is that our type of sexuality is multifaceted. We can be straight and make great husbands and fathers, but in another time and place we could equally make great wives. As I wrote somewhere, it’s like we have a quantum sexuality that is at several places at the same time. Here’s the link…

http://crossdreamlife.lefora.com/

xx

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