Are crossgender sexualities more prone to porn addiction?

by Felix Conrad - Clinical Philosopher on April 16, 2016

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First – a quick test!

For the past couple of months I’ve been considering the following hypothesis:

…That crossdreamers who do not fully express their femininity in the real world end up spending more time in porn world where, even though it is purely sexual and imaginary, they are female in some way, shape or form.

This might be particularly true for non-transitioners (i.e. transgender people who choose to continue living as their biological gender) and crossdreamers who do not dress or wear makeup.

I will now leave that hypothesis with you (please give me your opinion in the comments section) and talk about porn addiction in general.

Defining porn addiction

Before we examine gender-crossing specifics, let’s define porn addiction.

Porn addiction can be defined as a porn habit that is so excessive that it effects your life negatively. In other words, porn addiction is not decided by how much you use porn but by the effect it has on your life.

In other words, imagine you are a loving husband, devoted father, brilliant employee and community activist…you could be a heavy porn user but because you are flourishing in all areas of your personal and profesional life, it is nothing more than an innocuous hobby.

However, imagine you are a bad husband, bad father, unemployed, and help nobody in the community… and you are a heavy porn user. If the porn is stopping you from looking for jobs and not allowing you to perform sexually with your wife and taking up time you should spend with your kids…you are a full blown porn addict.

A more realistic scenario however is that porn doesn’t massively effect your life but if it didn’t exist you would probably make better use of your time. This would make you a semi-porn addict.

To conclude: the diagnosis of porn addiction is based on how it effects other areas of your life.

Once you start browsing for stuff like this...you might want to ask yourself if your porn thing is a little out of control

Once you start browsing for stuff like this…you might want to ask yourself if your porn thing is a little out of control

Beating semi porn addiction

Serious cases of porn addiction should be dealt with by professionals. Semi-porn addiction is much easier to deal with and should be attacked on 3 fronts:

1. Recognition: recognize that excessive porn use is not good for your life – and almost certainly not good for your soul. Make a commitment to cut back. As abstinence always fails you should not try to live as a Gregorian monk and give up masturbating or porn, but decide how much time you are willing to expend on porn and stick to it.

2. Logistical: Reorganize your day / house / life in a way that reduces the porn options. There are many things you can do. For example…

– Instead of waking up and jerking off – go for a run.
– Kill the wifi connection at certain times.
– Store your computer somewhere else (i.e. not next to your bed)

3. Life change: A lot of people end up spending all day in pornworld because they don’t have their life sorted out. Go for a long walk and ask yourself these 3 questions.

– What do I want from life?
– How do I get it (i.e. what plan do I need to make)?
– How can I organise my days and weekends so I can execute my plan?

When you feel your life is going somewhere it’s less likely you’ll waste hours and hours on porn…you will spend most of your time executing your plan.

Read my book on the sexology of crossdreaming!

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Barbara Haskell April 16, 2017 at 4:08 pm

Quiz shows that I have a healthy relationship with porn 🙂 Probably this quiz is right, as I can see porn as something alike to a vitamins. Some people consume enough vitamins with food, and they do not need to take pills. Sometimes vitamins can save you from scurvy, or they can give you hypervitaminosis. There is no common rule, except from maintaining a healthy level for you personally.

There is no big need to express myself in rl through clothes, makeup etc. But something like “inner expression” is very important to me. Like there is some feminine energy, which must be channeled somewhere. It can be outer expression, inner expression, or this energy will find a way by itself. Usually it will be porn, if other ways of expression are denied.

Porn can become an unhealthy addiction, but it also can be therapeutic. Sex (or porn as substitute) is an important and valid side of life, that’s out of question. This is a side of life. A side, not the whole life.

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Mackie April 16, 2017 at 10:04 pm

“This might be particularly true for non-transitioners (i.e. transgender people who choose to continue living as their biological gender) and crossdreamers who do not dress or wear makeup.”

In my experience, the answer is both yes and no. I’ve struggled with my gender identity from a very young age. Self esteem issues had me fighting it all my life. I was addicted to trans erotica because of it…but once I managed to break down my barriers and accept that yes, I am a trans woman, my dependency on the erotica (I say erotica rather than porn because I was more driven by stories than pictures) lessened significantly.

I present male to the world in general, and I don’t go ‘en femme’ particularly strongly at home (my t-shirts and jeans have been gradually migrating toward women’s cut) but just the embracing the fact that I’m a woman inside seems to have been enough to break the dependency.

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